Chapter 15 - No Gift in Her Hands
Mom stood on my porch with nothing.
No flowers. No presents. No dramatic peace offering.
“I know you don’t want me here,” she said.
“That depends why you’re here.”
She looked older.
“Your father says I need to apologize without explaining.”
“He’s learning.”
Mom looked down.
“I was cruel to Emma.”
I waited.
“I wanted to punish you.”
“I know.”
“And I used her to do it.”
“Yes.”
Her eyes filled.
I did not rescue her from the discomfort.
“I told myself she needed to learn disappointment,” Mom said. “That wasn’t true. I wanted you to feel powerless.”
There it was.
The truth.
Not a miscount.
Not hotel rooms.
Control.
“I don’t know why I always did this with you,” she whispered.
“I do. When Jessica needed you, you felt important. When I didn’t, you felt rejected.”
Mom went very still.
Grandma Evelyn had written almost the same thing years ago.
“Maybe,” Mom whispered.
“No. Not maybe.”
She nodded.
“Is there any way back?”
I thought carefully.
“Maybe. But not to the way things were.”
“What does that mean?”
“No private time with Emma. No criticizing her emotions. No comparing the kids. No gifts used as leverage. And if you punish her because you’re angry at me, we’re done.”
Mom nodded through tears.
“Will you forgive me?”
“I’m not promising that today.”
She flinched.
May you like
But she accepted it.
That was new.
