Chapter 19 - The Room with Two Photographs
Autumn arrived before Eli spent his first full week in our house. A caseworker checked the room, spoke with each of us, and made sure the transition was working. We kept the family counseling appointments. Some nights were hard enough to make all four of us cry.
Lily didn't always understand why Eli needed more attention. Eli didn't always understand why Lily was allowed to be loud and messy without fearing she'd be sent away. Daniel and I learned to apologize quickly, especially when we got something wrong.
One Saturday Eli stood in his new bedroom staring at two framed photographs on the shelf. One showed June and him beside her garden. The other showed me holding him as a newborn, so young and scared I could barely recognize my own face.
“You don't have to keep that one,” I told him.
“I'm keeping both.” He straightened June's photograph. “She taught me how to grow tomatoes. Will you let me plant some here?”
“We'll make room.”
He turned to me. “And Claire?”
“Yes?”
“Can I be mad about what happened and still love you?”
I felt my throat close. “You can feel both things. You never have to protect me from the truth.”
The legal process took more time. With June deceased and no other legal parent available, the court considered our petition to adopt Eli, along with his wishes and the required reviews. We didn't tell anyone it was decided before it was.
One rainy afternoon Naomi called with the hearing date. I found Eli and Lily building a bridge for her science fair. He'd fixed the model train's broken wheel and placed it beneath the cardboard beams.
“Eli,” I said. “The court is going to hear our adoption petition.”
He looked up, nervous. “Do I have to change my name?”
“No,” I said. “Not unless you want to.”
May you like
He considered that. Then he asked the question that hurt most.
“If it doesn't happen, do I still get to come here?”
