Chapter 19 - Her First Cry
The sound came small and furious.
A cry. A real, outraged little cry that made every fear in my body loosen at once.
"She's here," Dr. Patel said. "Your daughter's here."
They placed her against my chest after the team checked her. She was warm and damp and astonishingly real. Her tiny fist opened beside my collarbone. I counted five fingers, then five again, because I didn't know what else to do with so much relief.
"Hi, Ava," I whispered. "I'm your mom. I've got you."
Nora wiped her face with her sleeve. "Your mom's going to embarrass you at every school play," she told the baby. "Just giving you a heads-up."
I laughed and cried at the same time.
Later, when the room had quieted, I asked a nurse to let Daniel know Ava was born and that we were both doing well. She checked my preferences before making the call.
Daniel sent a message: Thank you. I'm proud of you. Can I see her when you're ready?
I looked down at Ava. Her fingers were wrapped around mine. I wasn't ready to forgive Daniel, but I didn't want anger to make every choice for me, either.
"Tomorrow," I wrote. "With Nora here. No visitors besides you."
He replied: Whatever you need.
The next morning, he arrived alone. He washed his hands, stood beside the bed, and waited until I nodded before approaching the bassinet.
Ava yawned. Daniel stared at her as if he'd forgotten how language worked.
"She's beautiful," he whispered.
"She is."
He looked at me. "I'm sorry, Emily. Not because Mom got caught. Because I let you stand alone. I did that over and over."
I believed the apology was real. I didn't mistake it for a repaired marriage.
"We're living separately," I said. "We'll work out parenting arrangements with help. You have to show me you're different. Not tell me."
He nodded. "I understand."
May you like
Before he left, he placed a small box on the windowsill.
"I brought something back from the house," he said. "I think it belongs to you."
