Chapter 14 - I Wanted You To Feel Small
I picked the letter back up.
Mom's handwriting had become uneven.
I wanted you to feel small enough to listen to me. I hate admitting that. It sounds awful because it was awful.
I stared at the sentence until the words blurred.
There it was.
No joke.
No misunderstanding.
She wrote about the folder.
My chest hurt.
Then came the lawyer.
I contacted him because I panicked when you said it was Lily's last Christmas in our house. I wanted leverage. That word makes me ashamed, but it is the honest word.
I stopped again.
Evan sat across from me.
"Do you want me to read the rest?"
"No. I need to."
That mattered.
It did not ask for Lily.
That mattered more.
I cried quietly.
Because this was the first time she had spoken to me without moving the burden back onto my shoulders.
If you never want to bring Lily to my house again, I will have to live with the fact that my behavior caused that.
I folded the letter.
Evan asked, "What are you thinking?"
"That I believe she means it right now."
"Is that enough?"
"No."
He nodded.
Then my phone rang.
It was Allison, the attorney.
"Rachel," she said, "I just got something from your mother's lawyer."
My stomach tightened again.
"What?"
"He's withdrawing the request for visitation."
May you like
I closed my eyes.
Then Allison added, "And your mother included a signed statement I did not expect. You should read it."
