Chapter 16 - One Session
I waited three weeks before calling.
Not Mom.
The therapist.
Her name was Dr. Elena Morris.
"Your mother signed a release allowing me to coordinate one joint session if you choose," she said. "You are not obligated to continue beyond that."
"I have conditions."
"Good. Tell me."
No Lily.
No surprise reconciliation.
No demand for forgiveness.
Dr. Morris said, "Those are clear."
Mom was already seated when I arrived.
She looked smaller than I remembered.
Not physically.
Socially.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi."
For ten minutes, neither of us knew how to begin.
Then Dr. Morris asked Mom, "What is the most important thing you want Rachel to hear today?"
Mom looked at me.
"I used embarrassment to control you."
My throat tightened.
"Yes."
"I told myself I was making you stronger. But I think I was making sure I stayed important."
I looked away.
She continued.
"When Lily was born, I saw how much you loved her. I was proud of you. And I was jealous."
That surprised me.
"Jealous of what?"
"That you did not need me the way I wanted you to."
The room went very still.
Mom wiped her cheek.
"You became a mother, and instead of letting you become one, I kept trying to grade you."
I could barely speak.
"Why?"
"Because if I was the expert, I still mattered."
There was something devastating about an explanation that finally made sense.
Because it exposed how ordinary the damage had been.
Fear.
Control.
Pride.
At the end of the session, Mom asked, "Can I see a picture of Lily?"
I froze.
"Never mind. I'm sorry. I said I wouldn't ask."
I reached for my phone.
Then stopped.
"Not today."
Mom nodded.
"Okay."
She looked disappointed.
And she survived it.
But outside the office, Dad was waiting by my car.
May you like
He had not told me he was coming.
And the moment I saw him, I knew the old family pattern was not finished with us yet.
