Chapter 20 - STILL YOURS
Hannah’s body went rigid.
But she remembered Dr. Shah’s rule.
Comfort first.
“You can tell me anything you want,” she said.
Sophie curled against her.
“The first day, I cried because I wanted you.”
“Vanessa said crying meant I wasn’t giving Daddy’s family a chance.”
Sophie swallowed.
“She said if I loved two mommies the same, everybody could be happy. But then she said if I loved you more, Daddy would be sad. So I tried to love everybody the right amount.”
That was the cruelty beneath everything else.
Not the videos.
Not even the forged forms.
A four-year-old child had been taught that love was a job she could fail.
“Listen to me. You never have to make love fair for adults.”
Sophie was quiet.
“You can love Daddy. You can love me. You can love Grandma, Elena, Dr. Shah, your teacher, your rabbit, and chocolate ice cream. Nobody loses because you love somebody else.”
“Even if I love you best?”
Hannah smiled through tears. “Even then.”
Sophie thought about it.
“What if I call somebody else Mommy someday?”
The question no longer sounded frightened.
Hannah answered differently this time.
“Then I’ll still be yours.”
“And you won’t disappear?”
“No.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
A year later, the blue-room drawing hung in a folder in Hannah’s desk, not on the refrigerator.
Sophie had drawn new houses since then.
Her favorite showed Hannah’s yellow house, Daniel’s small green apartment, and a park between them with a giant purple slide.
Daniel’s parenting time had expanded. He was not the father he had once imagined himself to be. He was becoming the father his daughter actually needed.
Hannah never became his friend again.
But they learned to stand on opposite sides of Sophie’s life without asking her to choose a side.
Vanessa remained legally barred from contacting them.
Margo lost her license.
Elena opened a cleaning company with help from a victims’ advocacy grant and sent Sophie a card every birthday.
And Sophie stopped checking hallways before she spoke.
One spring afternoon, Sophie ran in from the yard carrying a fistful of dandelions.
“For you, Mommy.”
Hannah took them.
Sophie hesitated.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“I don’t have to ask anymore.”
“Ask what?”
Sophie threw her arms around Hannah’s neck.
“Whether you’re still mine.”
May you like
Hannah held her tightly.
“No,” she whispered. “You never did.”
