Chapter 18 - A Promise She Could Believe
“Grown-ups get tired,” I told Lily. “We get sad. We need help. None of that is a child's fault.”
She traced a scratch in the kitchen table.
“Even if I spill stuff?”
“Even then.”
“Even if Noah cries?”
“Especially then. Noah's crying is a message that he needs help from us.”
Lily leaned against me. I didn't promise the courts would never change anything or that she'd never feel frightened again. I promised what I could control: I would listen, I would tell her the truth, and I would ask for help before I let her carry my problems.
Weeks later, professionals approved a short supervised visit with Daniel at a family center. Lily chose to go after being told she did not have to hug him. Noah played on the carpet while a supervisor stayed nearby.
Daniel had practiced an apology, but when Lily entered, he forgot it.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi.”
He crouched so he wasn't towering over her.
“I should have helped you. I saw things that were wrong and pretended they weren't. That was my choice. It wasn't because you were bad.”
Lily looked at his hands.
“Vanessa said I made you sad.”
“You didn't. I made terrible choices.”
She didn't hug him. She took a blue crayon from a box and began drawing a house. Daniel stayed where he was.
When Noah started crying, Daniel reached for a toy and asked the supervisor whether he could help. She nodded. He comforted his son without ordering Lily to do it.
Lily watched every movement.
May you like
Then she asked the question she'd been holding for months.
“Daddy, when you heard me calling you, why didn't you come?”
